The Good and Why That's Bad

In trying to understand myself, it would be favorable to look at some of my least desirable or objectionable traits or habits as it stems from a past event or time. Although conversely I should look at how bad times and good times have affected me today. Good times may have affected me positively or negatively.
I look back at middle school only with fondness. It was a time of high achievement in my life and the last time that happened.
I use to procrastinated in middle school where I stayed up late finishing work. It was great because it always worked out. That is not the case now and I need to acknowledge it and work on immediate task completion and incremental studying.
I have always found comfort and distraction in TV and movies. I think that it will actually lead to greater understanding of myself or some inspiration yet it never does. I watch the same things over and over again. There might be some comfort in repetition and some hypnosis in the familiar.
So the question is how have the good times and the bad times affected me.
The bad times, like college, have made me fear the pain. I don't open emails or test for fear of seeing the grade.
The good times have made me open to procrastination. They play on each other.
When I think about who I want to be it is a person who is deliberate, well-planned, focused person the bad times deters me from believing something is possible or pain-less and the good times makes me think it is okay to procrastinate and their is happiness or value in that.

Face The Pain

Confronting pain is difficult. I would say right now it is my biggest obstacle. It is the reason I don't strive like I use to and it is the reason I put off things. I don't look at papers or tests to avoid the pain of seeing my grades. I don't shoot high or dream big anymore. I put off important tasks because I know down the road it could be difficult or feel rejecting.

This is really no way to live. Fear of what could go wrong will only ensure such things. There is a reality that you write everyday.

There might be some pain, but it can't be that bad. There is much worst and this can't be anywhere near to it.

Getting things done now is a hallmark of a productive, mature person.

Everyday, I want a few adjectives to stick in my mind: Intentional, curious, productive, and persistent.

July 17, 2010 Plan

Here is one plan for one day.

I want to be up before the sun at 5:00am.
I will make my own coffee.
I will read for an hour.
I will practice my Spanish in a manner that will help to learn the material,
not just to make it look like I did work.
I will clean for only 30 minutes but will do it efficiently.
I will post on my other website.
I will make a notebook page - which will consist of pertinent news.
I will listen to a new album and watch no TV.
I will prepare for tomorrow.

I will stick with this plan.

My More Detailed Plan

I wanted to think more about how I was going to approach the topic in questions.

I am studying the biochemistry of the Glycolysis. I'm going to read 100 pieces about glycolysis and write up a report of my findings. Then I can approach the textbook and understand it better.

I'm going to start calculus. One Chapter at a time, all the problems.

I'm sticking to one book at a time and right now it is The Road by Cormic McCarthy.

I believe three is a good number to for my primary concerns.

As for secondary concerns I will get my finances in order, practice spanish, get my school plans ready, read up more on cars and keep a log.

April 30, 2010

It's been five months since my last post and about a year since the one before that one. It is time to recap and look ahead.

It is nice to keep a record of my thoughts. I am looking back on my thoughts and plans with retrospection.

First, and most importantly, I have been accepted to graduate school. That was the main objective. Studying for it will be the difficult part.

I am taking Spanish lessons and they are going well.

I have not had Coke for the past four months. I am going to cut out most sugar.

I am still without an overarching plan. I still don't know how I should study or organize my efforts.

Here is the current plan. Start with the most important subjects and do as much as I can with that. Once that is done move onto the next. This way I can finish the most important things first.

Biology

Spanish

Anatomy

Miscellaneous Topic

Then reading time can be spent on periodicals.

An entire magazine at a time on:

Biology

Economy/Finances

Art

Miscellaneous Topics

Smart Versus Dumb

Integrity is important. A person with integrity should have enough honesty to acknowlegde the obvious and be mature enough to accept it.

Thus a person should ponder every descision as a sucess or failure and view every failure as a way to learn. If the person can't admit defeat, he cannot go back stronger.

A smart person is deliberate. Everything should be planned and executed accordingly.

Thus a person should not waste time.

A smart person has goals in mind. He will have goals, taken intentory of them, and have realistic goals to achieve them.

Thus I should itemize. That probably means I should reduce the number of items.

A smart person is a person who plans.

Thus he is always writing to people and trying new things.

A smart person will also ask consequence first, action second. If I choose to fail, then I should not study. Think of the consequences first.

More to come.

061909 Short-term Deadlines

Let's take a look back at my "100 Things" for a moment.

I did #6, learn the flute. I learned it as much as I wanted to, which was to be functional and now I own one also.

Tomorrow I will be starting #4 since I am taking an automotive repair class.

I want to outline some other goals more realistically. I would like to take the GRE before the next round of admissions but that seems unrealistic. Let's say made significant progress in the next six months, December 31. That means I will have made significant progress in studying and mastering for the specific test.

I will say in three months, lets say September 1, I will have made significant progress in working towards graduate school. That can be defined as massive studying, reading literature, taking a project, and researching graduate schools.

Those are might large task to master and no easy task. More to come on the details.